


The mystery of Alexei Mashkov

by Fox and Peaches (Sabotaging_Ivy)



Series: god has cursed me for my hubris and my work is never finished [1]
Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Crack, Mayonnaise fic, Other, i am not sorry in advance, its for discord im so sorry, omg mayo fic, please if you share it tag it as omg mayo fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-15
Updated: 2020-04-15
Packaged: 2021-03-01 16:40:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 364
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23660200
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sabotaging_Ivy/pseuds/Fox%20and%20Peaches
Summary: Jack discovers tater eating something, he doesnt know what it is and starts detectiving aroundColloquially known as "The Mayo Fic" in the OMGSP discord server.
Relationships: Alexei "Tater" Mashkov/ Mayonnaise
Series: god has cursed me for my hubris and my work is never finished [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1705126
Comments: 29
Kudos: 29
Collections: omg stream! please Fics





	The mystery of Alexei Mashkov

**Author's Note:**

> okay so, this all started with the omgstream please discord server and their obsession with mayonnaise. 
> 
> Colloquially known as "The Mayo Fic" in the OMGSP discord server. You're welcome.

At first glance nothing seemed wrong, I mean, Tater doing strange things is nothing new.  
There is a reason his nickname was Tater, but this took it to a whole new level.

Tater was just scooping spoonfuls of a pale goopy substance into a plate. At first, Jack just thought it might be ice cream, but upon closer inspection he realized it was not. He kept staring and Tater took notice.

“You want some, Zimmboni?”

“I, no, thank you… I am not hungry”

“This not meal, it snack!”

“Snack? Tater what do you mean?”

Tater did not respond and kept eating spoonfuls of, well Jack wasn't sure what it was.

.

Jack was absolutely dumbfounded, it had been days and he still wasn't sure what Tater had been eating. So he decided to talk to Thirdy, though he had been too much of a chickenshit to do so.

So instead he decided to talk to Marty, yeah he seemed like someone he could easily talk to about what he had witnessed.

This time, unlike usual, only Marty was in the nook where the three seniors of the falcs hanged out constantly. A relief for Mr. Jack Zimmermann.

As soon as he got close he realized something was off. Marty looked like he had been crying.

“Marty… What happened?”

“I shouldn’t have asked, it's horrible”

“What are you talking about?”

“TATER! HIS HORRIBLE SINS”

Marty broke down crying and didn’t elaborate. His sobbing filled the room. Jack left and he had more questions than answers.

.

Jack decided to not be a fucking coward and ask Tater himself. He approached Tater, but this time Tater had a… beer hat? It looked like one but it sure wasn’t filled with beer. It looked like the same substance as he had been eating spoonfuls.

Jack gathered courage and asked.

“What are… you eating Tater?”

Tater stared into Jack’s soul. He had never been more terrified of his teammate before.

As a thousand suns came and went, or at least in his mind they did. Alexei Mashkov finally answered. 

“Its Mayo, Zimmboni”

Jack died right then, his anxiety spiked and his pressure rose so much that his head fucking exploded.


End file.
